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Choosing a Divorce Attorney
Even when a divorce goes smoothly, it can still get pretty stressful and tense at times. And although most divorces are settled out of court (approximately 96%), the vast majority of them still require some form of legal wrangling. For some divorcing couples, it's minimal and limited to some negotiations but for others, the legal posturing and arm twisting can get very intense, heated and acrimonious.

The reality is that about half of divorcing couples require some intervention by the courts to help move them toward settlement even if they eventually resolve their differences without having to go to trial.

When it comes to predicting how difficult a divorce will get, I go by this “rule of thumb”: the more conflict ridden a marriage is the more contentious the divorce! Then throw in money and kids, and you have the makings for a real mess and at the very least some dicey issues that are going to be difficult to resolve!!!

This is all the reason why it is absolutely essential that whomever you choose to represent you is competent, committed and someone you feel comfortable with and can trust.

It is not enough to retain an attorney who is competent. The attorney must understand your concerns and be able to convince you that he or she can present them on your behalf. You will be making a HUGE MISTAKE by retaining an attorney whom you do not have absolute trust in his or her ability to do their best for you.

Your attorney is your advocate. You are retaining an attorney to advice you, negotiate for you and if necessary, represent you in court. It is extremely important that you select your attorney carefully and feel comfortable and have confidence in his or her ability to manage your divorce effectively.

If you anticipate that settling your divorce could be difficult, then it is all the more reason that your attorney has the ability to meet your special needs.

Don’t be in a rush to retain the first attorney you speak with. There is absolutely nothing wrong in interviewing more than one attorney. After all, you are retaining the attorney to work for you. Treat the process of retaining an attorney as you would if you were hiring an employee to work in your business. These are some of the things you should consider when retaining an attorney:

1. How many years has the attorney been in practise and does he or she specialize in family law?

2. Is the attorney in a single-person law firm or part of a larger practice? In other words, does the attorney have other colleagues in the same area of law with he or she can consult or rely upon for back-up?

3. How many cases similar to yours has the attorney handled?

4. What were the outcomes of the cases similar to yours?

5. How much trial experience does the attorney have?

6. What is the attorney’s ratio of out of court settlements to trials?

7. When it comes to custody disputes, what is the attorney’s view on managing these cases? For example, is the attorney knowledgeable about parental alienation?

8. If so, what is his/her plan in dealing with it and what success has he/she had in those types of cases?

9. Is the attorney familiar with the dynamics of issues like alcoholism/drug abuse, domestic violence and mental illness and its implications on settling custody cases?

10. What is the attorney’s approach to managing high- conflict custody disputes?

11. Has the attorney ever been disciplined by the state or provincial law society?

Aside from these issues, make sure at the outset that you discuss with the attorney his retainer requirements and fee payment schedule.

Above all, remember that it is your responsibility to give your attorney clear and direct instructions. Your attorney can only be as effective as your instructions are to him or her.

If you feel ambivalent about any issues related to your case, slow down the process rather than giving your attorney mixed messages. This will only lead to frustration, miscommunications and more importantly, it may result in actions that may have a profound impact on your future.

During these times it is best to work through your ambivalence with a divorce consultant. Divorce consultants have experience working with people going through divorce. They are knowledgeable about the divorcing process, parenting concerns and family dynamics. More importantly, they are trained in assisting people cope more effectively with the emotional rollercoaster ride that often accompanies a divorce. Attorneys on the other hand are well trained in the legal aspects of divorce and negotiation. They ARE NOT equipped to address emotional upsets you are experiencing.

Copyright 2003 – Reena Sommer, Ph.D. www.reenasommerassociates.mb.ca
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Coffee Pods and Espresso Machines

There's nothing like the perfect espresso. Finely ground, dark roasted coffee, pressed and percolated into a strong, rich coffee drink that delights the senses and perks up your day. In Italy, ordering a coffee means that you're ordering an espresso. The Italians stop in their local bar once, twice, even three times a day for the perfect cup of espresso. But here in America, it's not as easy to find espresso done right. The grind of the coffee, the right temperature, the pressing of the coffee and the foaming of the milk are skills that few people know how to wield properly on this side of the ocean. But now with espresso machines and coffee pods, the guesswork is taken out of making espresso at domestic bars or even in your own kitchen at home.

In Italy, most Italians wouldn't recognize what we think of as a coffee maker. They use a "machinetta", a contraption that looks like a metal hourglass that has a top like a pitcher. The machine has 2 chambers. Water and coffee go into the bottom chamber. The machine is placed on the stovetop and heated until the water boils, percolating through the espresso grinds and into the second chamber. The pressure on the grinds between the two chambers insures that the coffee is pressed - the word espresso means "expressed" - and the rich taste comes from getting as much of the flavor out of the grinds as possible. The milk is heated and whipped separately. But it's easy to make a mistake in this process. Either by using the wrong amount of water or coffee, turning the heat on too strong or not using the right timing.

The growing popularity of espresso has meant that people want an easier, error free way to make it at home. So now you can find espresso machines that let you get the right combination of the necessary steps every time. There is a wide range of models to choose from, with different features and capacity. Some are designed for use in restaurants or bars, capable of producing large volumes of coffee in shorter amount of time. Unless you do enough entertaining at home to justify the cost, these probably aren't the best solution for you.

Models made for home usually produce either one or two "shots" of espresso at a time. If you prefer your espresso "macchiato", with milk, or you want to turn your espresso into a cappuccino, you will want to get an espresso machine with a nozzle that creates the steam and lets you froth the milk. Beyond these choices, you might want to consider a product that lets you use coffee pods. These pods look like large tea bags. They contain the exact amount of espresso to deliver a perfect shot every time. You simply put the pod into its slot, close it, and start the machine. When the cycle has finished, you just throw the pod away. It helps prevent any problems with measuring out the espresso and makes cleaning up absolutely easy.

If you purchase a machine that uses coffee pods, you might want to consider whether or not it can also take either another brand's coffee pods or regular loose espresso. Some machines do, but many will work only with the coffee pods that the same company also designs. Having the flexibility to use either the pod or loose coffee means you can still use it even if you run out of pods, which might need to be special ordered. Until these machines become more popular, it's not likely that the pods will be carried consistently in local grocery stores. Plus, the choice to use either kind of coffee also gives you the freedom to experiment with other roasts or flavors of espresso to further indulge your love of coffee.

Jim Cheresly shows you what coffee appliances to use in order to prepare a fine cup of coffee at http://www.madcoffeemaker.com where you'll find more about coffee roasters, grinders, coffee makers and espresso machines.

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Mommy...Daddy...is there really a Santa Claus?
Hi....

I am respectfully submitting my latest article in the hope that it will be of great interest to your ezine audience. It is about a wide concern around the holidays and I have tested it with my own list and it got the highest positive response rate of anything I have ever written.

It is about how to answer a child when asked if Santa Claus really exists. I think it is a good fit for your audience.

The title is "Mommy...Daddy...is there really a Santa Claus?"

Please feel free to publish the article (at the end of this email) including the resource box.

If you decide to publish the article, would you mind please sending me a copy to let me know you used it?

Thank you very much for your time and consideration. Wishing you much success!

Thanks,

Best Regards,

Mark Bulleit mark@greetingsfromsanta.com http://www.GreetingsFromSanta.com



Word Count: 596 Character Width: 60 Resource Box: 4 lines + web link to GreetingsFromSanta.com

============================================================

Mommy...Daddy...is there really a Santa Claus?

- by Mark Bulleit

(c)Mark Bulleit - All rights reserved. http://www.GreetingsFromSanta.com

============================================================

Is there really a Santa Claus? Any parent who hasn't been faced with this question most likely will at some point. But how do you answer this? No one wants to crush a child's dreams of Santa and holiday magic.

Some kids, like me, are crushed at school when they hear from a classmate that they found all their presents under their parents' bed, thus, proving there really is no Santa. Then, reasoning sets in, which is about the time they begin to wonder why they have been told this fairy tale all this time as it was the truth.

So, is there truly a Santa Claus? Well, if you are in this position you will probably be glad to hear that the only true answer to this question is...yes, absolutely.

The name "Santa Claus" came from the Dutch "Sinter Klass" pronunciation of St. Nicholas. St. Nicholas was a Christian priest, who later became a bishop. He was a wealthy person, and traveled the country helping others, giving gifts of money and other presents. St. Nicholas chose to remain hidden while giving these gifts, so the children were told to go to sleep quickly or he would not come!

One famous story is about a poor man who had no money to give to his three daughters on their wedding day. St. Nicholas dropped bags of gold into the stockings which the girls had left to dry by the fire. Ever since, children have hung up stockings on Christmas Eve hoping that they will be filled with gifts by Christmas morning.

According to the Catholics, a saint is one who lived such a holy life that, after dying and going to heaven, is still able to help people on earth.

In the 1500's people in England stopped worshipping St. Nicholas and favored another gift giving figure Father Christmas.

Now, no matter what your religious preference is or if you even believe in Saints, doesn't change that St. Nicholas represents a selfless act of giving. Rather it be material gifts, money where needed or the often most valuable gift of a little of your time, it's about the act of helping someone else for no other reason then just because they need it.

As St. Nicholas had figured out as a young man, we truly, as adults, begin to understand Santa Claus when we realize that the best gift of all is not on the receiving end, but being the one giving. And being rich doesn't always mean having a lot of money. Often, especially these days, taking the time to spend with someone, inviting them over for dinner or even putting food on their table, can make all the difference.

But how do we explain this to a child? Well, we do it in stages. They first have to learn how much receiving a gift meant to them to understand how much it means to others. And Santa Claus, well he is a perception of a truly magical holiday spirit presented to them in a way with which they can associate at this point in their lives.

So, how do we, as parents, answer this question in a way our young children will understand? You, as a parent, should decide when it's time to come clean. You can meter this by deciding when you feel they will understand that Santa Claus really does exist in all of us and he often means something different to each person they'll meet. A child grasping this is a big step towards learning what the holidays are truly all about.

============================================================ Mark Bulleit is the developer/co-founder of the popular GreetingsFromSanta.com offering personal letters from Santa. Light up your child's face like never before this season. Happy holidays from http://www.GreetingsFromSanta.com.



** Attn Ezine editors / Site owners ** Feel free to reprint this article in its entirety in your ezine or on your site so long as you leave all links in place, do not modify the content and include our resource box as listed above

If you use this material please send us a note so we can take a look. Thanks.

Feel free to substitute your affiliate link in place of our link in the resource box and earn a commission on every sale.

Affiliate program details are available at: http://www.greetingsfromsanta.com/affiliates.asp
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War Declared On Instant Messenger: How to Stop Your Child from Wasting Their Life Away Online
Topic  Home > Lifestyle > Family > Parenting
Home > Lifestyle > Family > Resources
====================================

War Declared On Instant Messenger: How to Stop Your Child from Wasting Their Life Away Online

by Christopher Pizzo M.Ed.

(c) Noble Learning Systems Inc. - All Rights Reserved www.HomeworkMotivator.com ====================================

Hey Parents! I hate to tell you, but there is no such thing as “useful instant messaging”. Your crafty child might try to take advantage of your lack of “Techie” know how when they say in that whiney voice... “But Mom…I’m IMing my friends about homework.” Don’t buy it! They are simply playing up the school is important bit so they can get you off their back.

To be fair, yes kids might spend a couple minutes discussing their school assignments. But for every 30 seconds of actual work, another 30 minutes are lost in useless chatter with the hundred or so “friends” on their buddy list! And if your child consistently pulls the “I didn’t know the assignment” excuse, then bigger school problems than instant messaging are on the horizon.

You can easily stop the hours upon hours of instant messaging with one simple gesture… PULL THE PLUG! Now, I don’t really mean to literally pull the plug out of the computer on your child. The last thing we want to do is get into a power struggle with your child, or break your $1500 computer.

No, what I mean is simply lay down the law. Allocate a specific period of instant messaging time per day. One hour of IMing is not going to kill anyone or their social life. And in that one hour time slot they will have plenty of time to discuss homework, their teacher, the new kid in class, or whatever.

Right now you might be saying, “That sounds great Chris, but what happens when my kid refuses to adhere to the allotted time?” When your child disregards your house rules it simply means they have too much free time on their hands. We all know that idleness is the devil’s playground. It might be time to up their chore responsibilities. Or sign them up for an after school art class or even a sport or karate. Sometimes the best answer is to simply spend some quality time with them. Set up a time each day to play scrabble, take a walk or cook something together. It really doesn’t matter what it is, just play to your kids interests and keep them busy.

The internet is a great tool, especially when it comes to education and homework. In the future we can expect to see an even greater merger of it with our every day lives. However, right now it’s the great stealer of time. Getting sidetracked is very easy, (as some of you might know) and with the media induced, shortened attention spans of our children, whole young lives could waste away online. Teach your kids to use the Internet and Instant Messaging as intended. Sometimes we use it for work; sometimes we use it for play. Just be sure your kids know the difference between the two.

=============================================

Chris Pizzo is the President of Noble Learning Systems Inc. and the developer of the NEW “Amazing Homework Motivator” program.

Why are thousands of kids happily sitting down to do their homework each and every night?...Without a fight, an argument, or even a reminder? Click here now ==> http://www.HomeworkMotivator.com
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